Tuesday, February 19, 2008
It sucks.
My friend's Mom is really sick-- she has cancer of the blood, infection has set in and the doctors say there's a chance she won't make it. I keep praying every day like crazy for her.
All I keep thinking is that it's the worst thing ever- to lose a Mom. I just keep thinking about my friend, Jenn, and how devastating it would be if her Mom died (obviously). They are really close and Jenn doesn't have ANY extended family (her parents were both only children).
And of course all I keep thinking about is how much it sucks to not have a Mom and how I much I don't want my friend Jenn to ever know the feeling. Of course, after your Mom dies, nothing is ever the same. Everything seems to have this overall suckiness. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (eventhough I don't think I have any, but really, who does? really.)
Anyway, I'm praying for Jenn's Mom and her whole family. I start crying when I think about how incredibly sad it would be if anything happened to her Mom.
It's so sucky and no one really knows if they haven't experienced it.
I feel like everyone knows how sad and horrible it is, but no one really knows the pain unless they've been through it. ya know?
I always wonder what life would be like if Mommy were still here. I can't even imagine it because I'm so used to her not being here. She died when I was in college. I was a partying, selfish asshole. I feel like she died at the most selfish point in my life. It sucks to think about how shitty I was back then. Maybe I still am. hahaha shit.
Now... I've been a teacher for 7 years, I live on my own, pay my own bills, and I feel like I'm a completely different and more mature person than the one that she knew.
It sucks to think about. I think she would be amazed that me and my sis turned out pretty damn good. Cuz we were pretty damn annoying in our teens and early twenties. And then she just died, before we got a chance to really get to know each other. does that make any sense?
It fucking sucks.
About a week after my Mom died, I went to my friend, Rick's house. Rick's Dad died about two years before my Mom died. When I walked in and saw his Mom, she looks at me and goes, "It sucks, doesn't it?"
Spoken like someone who truly knows just how much it sucks. No one has ever said anything more true about my Mom's death than Rick's Mom. So many assholes have said shit like "Oh you know she's watching" and crap like that. No I don't know she's watching and listen shit head, she probably isn't. Would you wanna watch this craphole of a life if you were up there? I'd much rather frolick around heaven with all the cats. Cuz there are lots of soft cats in my heaven.
Anyway, I gotta go get ready for my observation that will determine whether or not I still have a job. AHHHHH!!!!
All I keep thinking is that it's the worst thing ever- to lose a Mom. I just keep thinking about my friend, Jenn, and how devastating it would be if her Mom died (obviously). They are really close and Jenn doesn't have ANY extended family (her parents were both only children).
And of course all I keep thinking about is how much it sucks to not have a Mom and how I much I don't want my friend Jenn to ever know the feeling. Of course, after your Mom dies, nothing is ever the same. Everything seems to have this overall suckiness. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (eventhough I don't think I have any, but really, who does? really.)
Anyway, I'm praying for Jenn's Mom and her whole family. I start crying when I think about how incredibly sad it would be if anything happened to her Mom.
It's so sucky and no one really knows if they haven't experienced it.
I feel like everyone knows how sad and horrible it is, but no one really knows the pain unless they've been through it. ya know?
I always wonder what life would be like if Mommy were still here. I can't even imagine it because I'm so used to her not being here. She died when I was in college. I was a partying, selfish asshole. I feel like she died at the most selfish point in my life. It sucks to think about how shitty I was back then. Maybe I still am. hahaha shit.
Now... I've been a teacher for 7 years, I live on my own, pay my own bills, and I feel like I'm a completely different and more mature person than the one that she knew.
It sucks to think about. I think she would be amazed that me and my sis turned out pretty damn good. Cuz we were pretty damn annoying in our teens and early twenties. And then she just died, before we got a chance to really get to know each other. does that make any sense?
It fucking sucks.
About a week after my Mom died, I went to my friend, Rick's house. Rick's Dad died about two years before my Mom died. When I walked in and saw his Mom, she looks at me and goes, "It sucks, doesn't it?"
Spoken like someone who truly knows just how much it sucks. No one has ever said anything more true about my Mom's death than Rick's Mom. So many assholes have said shit like "Oh you know she's watching" and crap like that. No I don't know she's watching and listen shit head, she probably isn't. Would you wanna watch this craphole of a life if you were up there? I'd much rather frolick around heaven with all the cats. Cuz there are lots of soft cats in my heaven.
Anyway, I gotta go get ready for my observation that will determine whether or not I still have a job. AHHHHH!!!!
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